Girls Can't WHAT? Gifts » Random Musings

Best Travel Mug I’ve Ever Owned

gretchen — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 18:28:10 +0000

It might seem a little weird that I’m this excited over a mug but I seriously am.

I love this mug!

I freely admit that I’m a bit obsessed with making sure the products my designs are placed on are of good quality. So obsessed that I own and use just about every item I carry in my shop, including this travel mug.

Pushing the Limits

This week I had the opportunity to put my favorite drinking cup through some extreme testing. The temps here have been pushing 100 degrees all week and I’ve either been out by the pool working or at my daughter’s softball game. Each time I loaded my mug to the brim with ice and tea before heading out.

The Results?

At the end of 4 hours in the intense summer heat, my tea may be gone, but I still have ice! That’s right. This mug stays super cold. Even sitting outside in direct sunlight.

I’m so impressed that I think I’m gonna pick up a few more for the family. Can’t you see my husband sporting a pretty pink soccer ball mug at my daughter’s next game?

I haven’t had a chance to test this with hot liquids but I’m betting it’s just as good. You know I’ll be sporting one at the next home town football game. Can’t wait to enjoy my hot chocolate in this insulated travel mug. Yum!

Speaking of school, Girls Can’t WHAT? has a nice variety of back to school ideas. Kiss the Barbie themes goodbye this fall and choose empowering designs that you style yourself. See our Back To School Guide for details.

Man blames wife for miscarriages of females

gretchen — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 02:15:07 +0000

My dryer just broke down. Not a big deal, just an inconvenience. However, as I went to look up the name of a local repair person, I was reminded of my last experience with a repair person. What a nightmare.

I like to use local businesses and mom-and-pop type shops because I’m all about supporting the underdog. The person I called last time was recommended by a family member as someone they knew from church and he was a “good guy” who had been in the repair business for a long time and really knew his stuff. So I took their word for it and called him.

He was a very robust (putting it nicely), older gentleman and he showed up with his wife who seemed very sweet and cordial. At first I was thinking “hey, he’s involving his wife in his work so he must be ok.” Boy was I wrong.

In this instance, it was my washing machine needing a fix. He had to disassemble it and it was partially full of water since it broke down mid-cycle. As he worked on it, he grumbled things to his wife and she jumped whenever he barked at her to hand him a tool or a part. I was sitting in the next room and I immediately started justifying his gruff behavior in my mind. Maybe he was having a bad day, maybe this…maybe that…ugh. Why was I doing that? There is never a good reason to treat anyone that way.

Regardless of his “bad day” or whatever, he was being obnoxiously rude. I started to really feel sorry for her and wishing they would be done already. I started trying to tune them out when suddenly he started yelling frantically at her to “Clean it up! Clean it up!” I saw her scurry around through the kitchen to the other entry way (my laundry room is in a hallway and has two entrances). Then he barked at me to bring him some rags as the remaining water was spilling out on to the floor. His wife gave me the most pathetic “I’m really sorry he just yelled at you” look I have ever seen and I am thinking… really? tell me he’s not like this all the time. I’d shoot him myself.

Trying to stay calm and remain gracious, I went back through the kitchen (since he was blocking the entry way to the bathroom) and grabbed the box of rags from under the sink. His wife and I got on our hands and knees and started mopping up the wet floor. He stood there and watched. Which I found was odd, being that I was paying HIM to fix this machine…and shouldn’t he bring his own towels for clean up? Anyway…

Once the water was cleaned up, he continued working and rudely grumbling at his wife to bring him parts from the truck. At one point he asked for a tool and when she brought in the wrong one, he literally called her an idiot for not knowing the difference between the two. They must have been specialized tools for the machine because I had no idea what they were either and I know my way around a toolbox. The longer he worked, the more I wanted him out of my house.

At some point towards the end of the repair he called me in to explain the issue and as he was finishing up he struck up a conversation about my family. When I said I had two daughters, for whatever reason, he felt the need to start telling me that his wife had quite a few miscarriages before giving birth to their son. Before I could say anything remotely empathetic, he went on to say that she just couldn’t have girls and that there was just something wrong with her because she couldn’t carry a girl baby to term.

At that point I was completely speechless. I think I just stared at him and blinked in disbelief at such an illogical and completely ridiculous thought process.

I then glanced at his wife, who was looking down at the floor, attempting to clean up a spot that didn’t really exist. I’m sure she was just trying to avoid eye contact at that point. I was hoping there was a punchline or some miracle story about to unfold and that he DID NOT just blame all those miscarriages on either his wife’s anatomy or the babies being female (which I kind of think was probably a presumption on his part and not really a fact). As he was telling me about her “problem” he was starting to get worked up again so rather than try to point out that…ummm…maybe it wasn’t his wife’s fault and all because it takes two, buddy, and from what I can see YOU are the defective one in the relationship… I decided it was best not to say anything. He was obviously in a foul mood, was 4 times my size and was being very careless and angry in MY home.

I wrote out a check and was never so happy to see someone leave my house in my entire life. I think I was still in shock that someone could be so one-sided and put so much blame on the one person he should have been supporting. It blew my mind.

I’m sitting here shaking my head as I type. Looking back, I wish I would have said something, but I’m not very tactful when it comes to situations like that. I tend to be very blunt so it was probably wise that I kept my mouth shut. I can, however, make sure I will never support his business again. Nor will I make a referral. In fact, I have shared this story a few times with friends to make sure they DO NOT call this man for service. I do not wish bad things to happen to him but I hope that eventually he realizes that what he is doing is disrespectful to his wife, not to mention completely unprofessional.

And to his wife – should she ever read this: Its not your fault. It never was your fault. Get out and get help. You deserve so much more than to go through life staring at the floor.

As for me… I’ll be calling someone else this time around.

Why Girls Can’t WHAT? Is Successful

gretchen — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 15:46:18 +0000

People often ask me about my Girls Can’t WHAT? business and if it is successful. The answer to that has never been very clear to me until recently.

Success is often measured by sales, profit margins and income. Depending on who you ask, I’m either making a lot of money or I’m barely getting by. I do track my finances and of course my goal is to increase revenues to make more money. But what most people don’t see is where those profits go and why I want to make more money. I don’t pocket all of that cash.

I don’t want to.

Margaret Mead once said “I personally measure success in terms of the contributions an individual makes to her or his fellow human beings.”

If I were to use my talents to amass a fortune in money and material goods, what do I really gain? Nothing useful. My goal is to keep just enough earnings to live comfortably and give the rest away to help other people in need. By “need” I mean other people who are willing to help themselves but just need a little extra boost to get there.

I have a real hangup about giving handouts. The people who will most appreciate your investment are the ones who take what you give them and turn it into something more. This is why I like KIVA. The women there have real needs and strive to better themselves by working hard and using their talents to get there. It’s not a handout. It’s an investment. And it’s one that can be reinvested over and over to help even more people.

So when people ask me about my business, I have two answers.

When they ask what I do for a living, I tell them about my super power: “I challenge women to break through gender stereotypes and achieve their dreams.”

When they ask if it is successful, I can confidently reply by telling them about the women’s lives we have invested in and how those women are now helping others in their community to prosper as well. Those are the real success stories and I am thankful that Girls Can’t WHAT? can be a part of that every day.

Thank you to everyone who supports this site and knows what it really means to say “Girls Can’t WHAT?”!

Feminist Movie Roll Call

gretchen — Mon, 24 May 2010 14:32:23 +0000

Today marks the beginning of summer vacation for my daughters ages 10 and 13. We already have a schedule full of softball games, basketball camps among other activities. I know eventually we will all want to crash in front of the tv with a good movie.

My last trip to the rental yielded pathetic results, so I’ve been pondering what older movies might be of interest to my girls. I’m looking specifically for chick flicks that empower, so post your ideas in the comments below.

First on my list is A League of Their Own. What else would you recommend?

Newsflash: Women Cause Earthquakes

gretchen — Tue, 20 Apr 2010 17:59:27 +0000

After hearing predictions that an earthquake could hit Iran soon, Tehran’s “acting Friday prayer leader”, Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi explained why that would be happening:

“Many women who do not dress modestly … lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes.”

So WOMEN are responsible for earthquakes? Who knew?

And all along I thought it had something to do with natural causes and fault lines. Thank you for the enlightenment, Sedighi. I will take great care in wielding my newly discovered super power. Maybe Carole King was already aware of her gifting when she wrote “I feel the earth move under my feet…”

Anyway…I feel special now that I know we women have such power. Ok, maybe not special but at least smarter than Sedighi! How about you?

Britney Spears Un-Airbrushed Photos Revealed

gretchen — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 16:37:07 +0000

Britney Spears has never really captured my attention before. Until this morning. Britney unveiled side-by-side photos of her from a Candie’s shoot that shows the original photos along side the air-brushed photos. No joke.

We’ve talked about this before on several occasions. See Ladies, Don’t Be Fooled By This, No Wonder Our Perception Of Beauty is Distorted and No One Really Looks For Your Personality. So what do you think of these?

There are other subtleties that were airbrushed out and not mentioned in the above photos, which came from Mail Online. There are minor skin imperfections that were touched up (besides the bruises) and the wrinkles in her neck have also been smoothed out. Her ankles are slimmer and the shapes of her calves are different. There are some exposure differences and the shadows in her underarms were also lightened. See anything else? I’m sure there is more that I missed.

Anyway…props to Britney for doing this. Who says girls can’t be real?

***Thanks to my friend Kelli for the link.

Simple Test for Open-Mindedness

gretchen — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 18:37:11 +0000

WARNING: I make NO apologies for the heavy-duty thinking you are about to encounter.

Over the last 5 years since Girls Can’t WHAT? was created, this blog has conjured up a pretty interesting batch of controversial topics. Frequently, during the debates that break out in the comments, someone will point out that the opposing side is not being open-minded. This goes back and forth with both sides saying that the other isn’t being open-minded until we all want to beat each other up. Kind of ridiculous, isn’t it?

With the topic of “open-mindedness” on my brain, I started looking into what really makes a person “open-minded”. Is there some criteria we can use to determine just how open-minded someone is being? I Googled, I went to the library, I dug around and lo and behold, there is something by which we can determine open-mindedness. And here it is…It all hinges on asking yourself the following question:

What would it take to change my mind on this topic?

If you have an answer, then you are open to changing your mind because you know what criteria you need to switch to the other side. Congratulations, you are open-minded.

If your response is “Nothing” then you are not open to change and therefore you are close-minded on that topic.

So what? I’m still a rock star…

The trick here is to really think through the topic and determine what it is that would make you change your mind. Even if you can’t think of something right away, you should at least continue to contemplate what your answer will be. Why? Because if you can’t articulate what it would take to alter your thinking, then you cannot effectively communicate with the opposing side. I’m sure there is some theory or psychobabble behind that, but to me it’s just plain common sense.

This does not mean you have to accept the opposing view as is. What you are trying to discover here is exactly what aspect of the opposing view has to be changed or made clear to you in order for you to accept it. If you can tell us why you believe in something, you also need to be able to tell us why you don’t accept the opposing view. You don’t have to switch sides or change your mind, but you do need to know what benefits or changes need to be present for you to embrace the opposing viewpoint. As long as your answer is “nothing” then you are being close-minded to finding a solution to the problem. That’s a hard concept to swallow.

I Hate Coffee

As usual, I applied this to a variety of topics to discover my own level of open-mindedness. For example, I am a complete coffee snob. Does that mean I am close-minded to drinking coffee because I refuse to try different kinds? I thought I might be because frankly, I just can’t stand the stuff.

So what would it take to make me drink coffee?

In my case, I don’t like the taste or smell of coffee. But if you could show me that drinking coffee would suddenly have some kind of massive health benefit – like say, cure the arthritis in my back – then I would be willing to invest in a few Starbucks extra grande mocha frocha whatevers a week.

There are probably a lot of reasons I could come up with that would make me drink coffee that aren’t near as far-fetched or based on medical cures. There are also a lot reasons I could come up with that wouldn’t be worth it to me either. But the fact that I can name something that would cause me to alter my view shows that I am open-minded to becoming a latte lover.

Want an even bigger challenge?

Ok so my coffee example may be a bit extreme. To date, no one has claimed that coffee can cure arthritis and even if someone has made that claim it has not been scientifically proven. But here is my theory…the more realistic (meaning feasible) of an example you can give for changing your viewpoint, the more open-minded you are. That doesn’t not mean you have to agree with the opposition or switch sides. It doesn’t mean you are wishy-washy or walking a fine line either. It simply means you know exactly what needs to change for you to resolve the issue. And the more realistic you can be, the easier it will be for you to communicate that to others in terms they can understand. That is a key point.

I am certain we could all come up with endless topics and examples so I encourage you to start thinking about what you believe and why you believe it.

Then ask yourself…are you really open-minded about it?

Why isn’t baking or sewing an Olympic sport?

gretchen — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 18:21:21 +0000

Yes, the 2010 Olympics are on! I do love sports, but I was just sitting here thinking what makes something a sport? I have consulted the search engine gods, but they were less than helpful on this topic. By “less than helpful” I mean I got a lot of opinions on the topic, but no real answers.

Some folks say it has to involve “physical prowess” and that the athlete has to posess some sort of physical skill set that they practice. Ok… so explain why flipping on ESPN results in a Poker game? And isn’t Chess considered a sport? I really have no idea.

Others say it revolves around having an organized group. If there is an official association for a particular interest, then it can be classified as a sport. Hmmm… feminists have their own organization? Does that make a feminist an athlete?

What constitutes a “sport”? Should sewing and baking be considered sports? They require skill and practice to master. And what makes one sport “Olympic” material and another one not? Why not have Chess and Poker at the next Olympics?

What do you think?

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Warning… Rant… Are People Really This Selfish?

gretchen — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 18:53:50 +0000

I have a real problem with the whole “giving to get” mentality I have seen lately. You know what I’m talking about. You see them on TV… some telethon that offers you a “limited edition” something or other if you’ll just pledge or give $xxx to help people in need.

First of all, I have a problem with the hype. That’s a lot of overhead just to get people to give. That “limited edition” item wasn’t free. It cost money to make and cost money to promote. Waste.

Secondly, I don’t give to organizations or charity because I want to “get” something in return. I give because I want to help and I could care less if I ever get anything back. Offering cheap trinkets in exchange for a “donation” is nothing more than conning people into giving. Even if it is for a good cause, it’s still a trick. It’s set up with the expectation to get something in return. It’s selfish. If people have to be motivated to help other people by being bribed, that is sickening.

I would rather “get to give”. Yes, I’m a capitalist, but I want to take all that money I earn and give it to people in need. Not hoard it for myself . That’s why I like KIVA. It’s teaching people to fish, not feeding them for a day.

Why is it so hard for people to just give without expecting anything in return?

If you could invent anything you wanted, what would it be?

gretchen — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 20:13:44 +0000

While showering this morning it occurred to me that if I had a device that would transcribe my thoughts while I bathed, I could save a ton of time.

Because some of my best writing happens in the shower.

Where I have no paper, no pencils, no nada.

And my MacBook is not waterproof. Dang!

I’ve seen a lot of really good ideas get washed down the drain before I’ve had time to even reach for a towel.

So today I’m thinking it would be really cool to be able to insert a microchip into my brain somewhere and record my thought stream. Then I could just download it into my Mac as soon as I get back to my office. That would be pretty sweet, eh? The ultimate in multi-tasking!

So if you could invent absolutely anything in the world, what would it be?