Girls Can't WHAT? » Random Musings

Simple Test for Open-Mindedness

admin — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 18:37:11 +0000

WARNING: I make NO apologies for the heavy-duty thinking you are about to encounter.

Over the last 5 years since Girls Can’t WHAT? was created, this blog has conjured up a pretty interesting batch of controversial topics. Frequently, during the debates that break out in the comments, someone will point out that the opposing side is not being open-minded. This goes back and forth with both sides saying that the other isn’t being open-minded until we all want to beat each other up. Kind of ridiculous, isn’t it?

With the topic of “open-mindedness” on my brain, I started looking into what really makes a person “open-minded”. Is there some criteria we can use to determine just how open-minded someone is being? I Googled, I went to the library, I dug around and lo and behold, there is something by which we can determine open-mindedness. And here it is…It all hinges on asking yourself the following question:

What would it take to change my mind on this topic?

If you have an answer, then you are open to changing your mind because you know what criteria you need to switch to the other side. Congratulations, you are open-minded.

If your response is “Nothing” then you are not open to change and therefore you are close-minded on that topic.

So what? I’m still a rock star…

The trick here is to really think through the topic and determine what it is that would make you change your mind. Even if you can’t think of something right away, you should at least continue to contemplate what your answer will be. Why? Because if you can’t articulate what it would take to alter your thinking, then you cannot effectively communicate with the opposing side. I’m sure there is some theory or psychobabble behind that, but to me it’s just plain common sense.

This does not mean you have to accept the opposing view as is. What you are trying to discover here is exactly what aspect of the opposing view has to be changed or made clear to you in order for you to accept it. If you can tell us why you believe in something, you also need to be able to tell us why you don’t accept the opposing view. You don’t have to switch sides or change your mind, but you do need to know what benefits or changes need to be present for you to embrace the opposing viewpoint. As long as your answer is “nothing” then you are being close-minded to finding a solution to the problem. That’s a hard concept to swallow.

I Hate Coffee

As usual, I applied this to a variety of topics to discover my own level of open-mindedness. For example, I am a complete coffee snob. Does that mean I am close-minded to drinking coffee because I refuse to try different kinds? I thought I might be because frankly, I just can’t stand the stuff.

So what would it take to make me drink coffee?

In my case, I don’t like the taste or smell of coffee. But if you could show me that drinking coffee would suddenly have some kind of massive health benefit – like say, cure the arthritis in my back – then I would be willing to invest in a few Starbucks extra grande mocha frocha whatevers a week.

There are probably a lot of reasons I could come up with that would make me drink coffee that aren’t near as far-fetched or based on medical cures. There are also a lot reasons I could come up with that wouldn’t be worth it to me either. But the fact that I can name something that would cause me to alter my view shows that I am open-minded to becoming a latte lover.

Want an even bigger challenge?

Ok so my coffee example may be a bit extreme. To date, no one has claimed that coffee can cure arthritis and even if someone has made that claim it has not been scientifically proven. But here is my theory…the more realistic (meaning feasible) of an example you can give for changing your viewpoint, the more open-minded you are. That doesn’t not mean you have to agree with the opposition or switch sides. It doesn’t mean you are wishy-washy or walking a fine line either. It simply means you know exactly what needs to change for you to resolve the issue. And the more realistic you can be, the easier it will be for you to communicate that to others in terms they can understand. That is a key point.

I am certain we could all come up with endless topics and examples so I encourage you to start thinking about what you believe and why you believe it.

Then ask yourself…are you really open-minded about it?

Why isn’t baking or sewing an Olympic sport?

admin — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 18:21:21 +0000

Yes, the 2010 Olympics are on! I do love sports, but I was just sitting here thinking what makes something a sport? I have consulted the search engine gods, but they were less than helpful on this topic. By “less than helpful” I mean I got a lot of opinions on the topic, but no real answers.

Some folks say it has to involve “physical prowess” and that the athlete has to posess some sort of physical skill set that they practice. Ok… so explain why flipping on ESPN results in a Poker game? And isn’t Chess considered a sport? I really have no idea.

Others say it revolves around having an organized group. If there is an official association for a particular interest, then it can be classified as a sport. Hmmm… feminists have their own organization? Does that make a feminist an athlete?

What constitutes a “sport”? Should sewing and baking be considered sports? They require skill and practice to master. And what makes one sport “Olympic” material and another one not? Why not have Chess and Poker at the next Olympics?

What do you think?

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If you could invent anything you wanted, what would it be?

admin — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 20:13:44 +0000

While showering this morning it occurred to me that if I had a device that would transcribe my thoughts while I bathed, I could save a ton of time.

Because some of my best writing happens in the shower.

Where I have no paper, no pencils, no nada.

And my MacBook is not waterproof. Dang!

I’ve seen a lot of really good ideas get washed down the drain before I’ve had time to even reach for a towel.

So today I’m thinking it would be really cool to be able to insert a microchip into my brain somewhere and record my thought stream. Then I could just download it into my Mac as soon as I get back to my office. That would be pretty sweet, eh? The ultimate in multi-tasking!

So if you could invent absolutely anything in the world, what would it be?

Coach Punched Over Girl Playing Football

admin — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 19:17:52 +0000

Ok there is some irony in here somewhere… I can feel it.

In Eaton, Colorado, 11 year-old Makayla Crespin has already competed in four football games with the Boys and Girls Club as the sole female on the team. No one complained.

In their last match up, the opposing coach got in an argument with Mikayla’s coach over having a girl on the team. He fought on religious grounds that they should be teaching boys to not hit girls at any level. Ok, I agree boys shouldn’t go around punching girls, BUT THIS IS FOOTBALL! Mikayla signed up to take the hits. It’s her choice.

So the coaches continue to argue and some shoving soon followed. Eventually, the opposing coach hauls off and punches Mikayla’s coach in the face. (Mikayla’s coach is a man so that must make it ok to hit… )

C’mon folks. Football is a sport. Anyone who plays it knows they will take a few hits and get roughed around. If the girl chooses to play, then what’s the big deal?

Woman Invents Gas Mask Bra, Men’s Lives Will Be Saved

admin — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 18:45:06 +0000

You just have to love women’s ingenuity.

Dr. Elena Bodnar began her science career by studying the effects of the 1986 Chernobyl nuclear plant disaster. Thinking that thousands of lives and illnesses could have been spared had victims had instant access to gas masks to protect themselves, Dr. Bodnar came up with a brilliant idea: The Gas Mask Bra. It converts into a pair of gas masks – one for the wearer, the other for a friend.

If you are laughing, you might consider that these could have been useful during the 911 attacks and during various other disasters involving chemical fumes and debris. Dr. Bodnar’s invention seems quite practical to me. Most women are wearing bras when they are out in public so they would never be without…um…coverage. And she points out that no matter what size you wear, a bra’s cup is the perfect size and shape to cover the mouth and nose. And it’s useful to note that the bra samples Dr. Bodnar had on display were very tasteful and actually kind of cute.

So if tragedy should strike, would you be wearing your own bra or borrowing from a friend? Or perhaps this technology will be adapted by all the bra manufacturers and in the future it will be the women’s job to save the world by sharing half their bra with the men. I think women currently outnumber men so there should be enough to go around.

How Attractive Are You? iPhone App Can Rate Your Beauty

admin — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 17:48:49 +0000

This has to be one of the worst iPhone apps I have ever seen. Booo hisssss to the developer. You stink! We women are too smart to fall for this. Seriously.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Should Runner Caster Semenya Undergo Gender Testing?

admin — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 20:26:54 +0000

In Berlin a few weeks ago, newcomer Caster Semenya dominated the 800 meter run, beating the nearest competitor by a whopping 2.45 seconds. Apparently women can’t possibly run that fast so Caster Semenya must be a man, right?

Unfortunately, that’s what people are saying about her. Yes, she was a tomboy growing up and preferred pants to skirts. No, she doesn’t look like a supermodel. And when she first started training for the big leagues, she was not world class material. But now that she has worked hard to prove herself in a field where she has trained her whole life to achieve this status, she is met with accusations and disbelief.

So what do you think? Is this fair to Caster or any woman to be “tested” to prove their gender? The testing goes beyond the physical body parts and includes everything from chromosome testing to how her community treated and supported her growing up.

If you think this is controversial enough, take into consideration this is not the first time in sports history that a woman’s gender has been questioned publicly. Other women have had to deal with this same scrutiny and some have even been stripped of medals and awards when they didn’t “pass” the test.

Would love to hear your comments on this subject…

Sound Off: What’s the most sexist thing you deal with on a daily basis?

admin — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 15:46:41 +0000

Thought I’d have a little fun with this post and let you all tell me what bugs you the most. So have at it…what’s the most sexist thing you have to deal with every day? Is it workplace humor, digs against motherhood, school issues…sports? Tell us about it!

Life Lessons from Lola the Boston Terrier

admin — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 16:27:34 +0000

Lola was an unexpected gift. Our family had been considering adding a new dog to our home for several months but hadn’t been actively looking for anything in particular. While out walking my pug Quest one afternoon, a neighbor mentioned that there was a small dog at the animal shelter we might want to consider. I called immediately to get more information.

Lola was almost two, a black and white Boston Terrier with three black feet and one white one. She was very alert, active and healthy. The previous owners had turned her in because they were expecting a baby and didn’t want a dog (sounds crazy, I know!) After taking my kids to the shelter to meet her and making sure she got along with Quest, we made the decision to adopt Lola.

Adopting a new pet is always a gamble. You never know what to expect, especially from an adult dog who may or may not have had good training or been socialized well. Often times these dogs need a period of adjustment to recover from anxiety and other problems associated with being uprooted from their previous situation. Lola was no exception.

Everyone Needs Time and Understanding

All adopted dogs must be neutered or spayed before they can be released from the animal shelter, so Lola had to undergo the procedure the following day. When I picked Lola up from the vet’s office the next afternoon, she was very sleepy and nervous which was to be expected. We arrived at home and spent the entire afternoon and evening resting on the couch along with Quest. It was a rough day for her.

When she finally started to perk up, Lola was very frightened by new people – especially men. She would have nothing to do with my husband and would hide under furniture whenever new people entered the house. She also refused to eat. She spent a lot of time on my lap shaking nervously and watching everything very closely. If I got up to go anywhere, she followed. She was never more than two feet away. But that was ok. We knew it would take some time for her to understand that this was her new home and that we were her new family.

Embrace Change

Lola overcame her fears a little at a time. She started by exploring her surroundings with me in the room. Then one day she ventured into another room by herself until eventually she was not afraid to go to her food bowl and enjoy a snack on her own. With each new experience, Lola gained confidence and trust in us and in herself until the nervous little dog we brought home blossomed into part of the family. It reminded me of how we often react to new circumstances. We can either shy away and miss out on some great new adventures, or we can embrace the change and grow. Lola chose to embrace the change.

Make Lots of Friends

When Lola recovered from her surgical procedure, I began taking her on my one mile walks every morning. The first few days she stayed right by side and nearly jumped out of her skin when other dogs would bark at her. I noticed as each day passed that Lola would start to get a little closer to the other dogs until eventually she would be nose to nose with them through the fence. As she did this, her entire hind end would wag with happiness at making a new friend. Now when we walk, she looks excitedly for her friends and relishes the chance to interact with them as we pass by. If they are not outside, she always looks a bit disappointed and often glances back two or three times in case we just missed them on the first pass. Kind of reminds me of checking Facebook 10 times a day to make sure I don’t miss anything.

Once Lola started to break out of her shell, I set up a play date for her and Quest with our neighbor’s pug Chauncey. Quest and Chauncey are buddies and I was certain Lola would get along with Chauncey as well. She was already communicating with him through the fence and I knew she was interested in having a rough-and-tumble time with another dog her age. At nearly 15 years old, Quest has no interest in chasing or playing so Chauncey would be a good match for her. Lola was so excited to have another dog to play with that she ran around in crazy circles for several minutes with Chauncey joining in the chase behind her.

Lola’s interest in making friends reminds me so much of our own need for friends and play dates. We schedule everything else in our lives, why not schedule some fun?

Ignore the Bully

There is one dog on our morning walk, however, that Lola has yet to befriend. It’s a small Jack Russell terrier that barks obsessively at us when we pass by. From day one, Lola has very cautiously walked past this dog, never once taking her eyes off of him as he barked and snarled at her. Lately, Lola has been a little braver and started ignoring the dog whenever he starts into his barking routine.

Today, however, Lola stood her ground. We rounded the fence just as the Jack Russell came bounding down the porch steps and up to the fence to tell us off. Lola took about two steps toward him and barked very softly (only the third time I’ve ever heard her bark in the 3 weeks since she arrived home). The Jack Russell stopped barking, cocked his head to the side as if he couldn’t believe what he had just heard and stared at us as we continued on our way. I don’t speak dog, so I have no idea what Lola said to him but I’m guessing she finally spoke up and told him she’s not afraid of the neighborhood bully. I got the message. Don’t mess with Lola.

Love Often, Love Lots

If there’s one thing Lola knows best, it’s how to love. She is never at a loss for affection. We don’t even have to ask for it or call her over to sit with us. She is always ready to give it to us whether we are expecting it or not. Regardless of her previous circumstance and how she ended up in our home, she has quickly adapted to her new life and loves to express her happiness. She will even pause in the middle of a game of fetch to sneak in a nose nuzzle or a little kiss on the knee as if to say “thanks for playing with me”. At night she likes to snuggle on the couch with us or curl up on our feet as we sleep. She’s made herself at home now.

We people have so much to learn.

Help Me Use My Super Power

admin — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 16:27:57 +0000

Ever since I wrote about Finding Your Super Power, I’ve been itching to use mine in a larger capacity. As a refresher, my super power is…

Challenging women to break stereotypes and achieve their dreams.

So what can I do to help YOU break through stereotypes and achieve your dreams? This is not a rhetorical question. I really want to know what challenges you are facing. My Super Power is based on problem solving. I think that’s what my mind was built to do. I’m always on the lookout to find solutions and move forward in every area. So please send me your questions, your challenges and your ideas and let’s brainstorm together to find solutions and help you achieve your dreams.

Simply contact me with your name and your question and I’ll use it in a future post to help you determine ways to bypass those roadblocks and take charge of your goals. Only first names will be used in the posts – privacy is a must.

Oh – and if you haven’t figured out your super power yet, check out the post and discover your super power.