No this is not a belated post. I know it’s the 5th day of January. ;)
I wanted to write about a little experiment my family did last year in hopes that you might consider it for this year. In order for this experiment to work for us, we had to start at the beginning of the year. What was the “experiment”? We stopped giving adult gifts. No I don’t mean those kind of gifts – I mean we stopped giving gifts to the adults in our lives. This little brainstorm came about a few years ago when we found ourselves surrounded by stuff we didn’t really need. Don’t get me wrong, it was nice stuff, but it was just…stuff. We didn’t need it. We didn’t even know where to put it. We appreciated the thought, but we were thinking why on earth do we run around like crazy buying this same “stuff” for other people? They don’t need it either and they probably don’t have any better storage options than we do. So we came up with an alternative solution.
Rather than spend an entire year exchanging an assortment of “stuff”, we decided to send out an email to all family members at the beginning of this last year requesting that they don’t buy us any gifts for our birthdays, anniversaries or any holidays. Instead, we asked that they make a donation to a charity of their choice in our names. In turn, we would do the same for them. It was risky, but we clicked ‘send’ anyway.
There was some resistance at first, but ultimately it was accepted and the experiment began. We were quite satisfied to receive a simple card for our birthdays and for other occasions. We didn’t miss the gifts. The important thing for us was spending time with people during those occasions – not receiving a gift.
The big test was at Christmas time since that’s when we spend the most and make a big hoopla about exchanging presents. My husband and I wondered if it would be awkward to show up to the family gathering with presents for the little ones and cards for the grown-ups. It wasn’t. Other family members exchanged gifts and we just observed. We didn’t feel cheated or out of place. If anything, we felt even more fortunate for having all of our physical and material needs met and even more grateful that we could share that abundance with those who need it most.
Seeing that the experiment was a success, we fully intend to continue it. If we had any doubts, the peaceful Christmas we just experienced erased them. Perhaps this may spark some ideas for your own family.
Happy New Year!
3 comments
gretchen
Yes – please pass it along. :)
I can’t take full credit for the idea, since giving to charities is fairly common. I will, however, give credit to my husband for drafting the email and making it happen. We both agree this was one of the most stress-free holidays we’ve ever had and the only thing that changed was our way of handling the gifts. ;)
Duchess O'Blunt
This is a wonderful Idea! One I wish we could all learn. You are so right. We get to a certain point in our lives when we have more than enough “Stuff”!
One of the things we do at work, and one I would love to see more of us doing is, we take a family from the local women’s shelter and we buy them Christmas. That means the Turkey dinner (and much more), the Christmas presents and the stuff to wrap them in (the mother’s go wrapped so she has some surprises left, but the childrens gifts we leave for her to wrap).
The local shelter actually provides a list of their “wishes” with their ages, clothes sizes and all, which makes it very easy to buy for them.
I think I will go over to my own site and promote this idea now for next year.
Thanks for the nudge! And HAPPY NEW YEAR
kel1
My husband and I haven’t exchanged Christmas gifts for several years now. We decided that we’d rather buy for our kids and for our parents (though our parents would prefer we didn’t!) than for each other.
However, I’ve often thought of giving to WorldVision in honor of someone else. The catalogs that tell you how much you can give for a family to have its own dairy cow or goat or handful of chickens to provide them a continuous supply of food is just such a great idea.