Is Valentine’s Day sexist for both men and women?

The following quote was spotted on Yahoo Answers this morning by a girl (no age indicated). I found it rather amusing. It’s kind of reverse sexism and yet it isn’t…

“When did the rules change for Valentine’s Day? So many girls here are asking what kinds of gifts to get for their guy on Valentine’s Day. I always thought guys don’t want you to buy them anything. It’s Valentines Day, not his birthday or Christmas. He does something cute/romantic for you, and you do something extra sexy/dirty for him. When and why did this change? So sad.”

First of all, a gift is a gift. If you give a gift, you should not expect to get one in return. That ruins the meaning of the word gift.  The definition, according to dictionary.com is “something given voluntarily without payment in return”

So her notion of doing “something extra sexy/dirty for him” is just wrong on so many levels. I find her perception of Valentine’s day a bit repulsive.

So what we have here is a girl who assumes that guys don’t want material gifts, they only want a physical relationship. Eeek – so much wrong with that I don’t know where to start. It strikes me at first as reverse sexism to assume a guy would not appreciate a material gift. How is that fair to him?

Then she brings up the “extra something-something” bit and all I can do is slap my palm to my forehead in disbelief. Seriously? Girls still think like this? So much to teach young ladies these days.

No no no! You never owe anyone a piece of yourself just because they buy you a gift or for any other reason. That is not “love” nor is it what Valentine’s Day is about. Where on earth has she picked up on the idea that this is what Valentine’s Day is for and that it has “changed”?

Anyway…if you’re going to participate in these Hallmark holidays, do it because you care. Do it because you really want to show someone that you love them. And don’t assume that “he” doesn’t want a gift. And I’m talking about the material kinds of gifts, not the “extra sexy kind”.  They can be store-bought or homemade. Make a meal, send candy, buy him a shirt (shameless plug), shovel his driveway – whatever you want to offer without expecting anything in return.

Nothing has changed about how one human being should respect another.  What is “sad” here is not that her idea of how Valentine’s Day somehow changed, but that her idea is sexist on both sides of the paper heart.

Feel free to comment.  I’m certain you all will have plenty more to say…