When I develop a new Girls Can’t WHAT? design, I usually do a little research first. Especially if I am unfamiliar with the activity. I spent the earlier part of this week researching golf and looking at various pictures to determine the best way to represent a girl
As I googled the phrase “women playing golf,” I came across a few very interesting posts in a sports forum that was frequented mostly by guys who like to tee off in their free time. I absolutely refuse to post a link to it here because, frankly, I don’t want to give that forum any publicity. Why? Because what I read was absolutely stunning! Ladies, I hope this isn’t an indication of what guys are plotting behind our backs…
The topic of discussion in one particular post was from a gentleman (and I use the term loosely, but respectfully) who was in need of a new caddy. He didn’t give any specifics as to why he was caddyless, although I have my own conclusions, but he was describing in detail his quest for a female club-toter.
This man gave no indication of being a pro and gave no obvious reasons to why he couldn’t haul his own clubs around or even drive his own cart for that matter. The post looked innocent upon first glance, but as I read further and saw other men replying and read the following discussion that ensued, I could not believe what I was hearing. The original poster was looking for a caddy, and not just any caddy. He wanted a caddy who “looked good in short shorts” and was “hot”. Oh – and she should be clueless about golf because he didn’t want to take any advice about golf from a woman! I nearly fell out of my chair!
Now, I can see this coming from one jerk, but this one jerk apparently attracted a lot of other jerks because the thread got pretty long and there were a lot of different guys chiming in with their opinion. One guy was nice enough to say he’d want his wife to be his caddy because she was “good looking” and knew a little bit about golf, too. The rest of them launched into a discussion about how much more entertaining golf would be if they had more hot chicks in the game.
Now, I’m all for looking good. And I’m not talking about the anorexic super-model “I just puked my breakfast” look. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with having a great-looking, healthy, muscle-toned body. Being fit is cool. My problem with the above conversation is that when they say they want more hot chicks “in the game” they were referring to the girls as caddies. CADDIES? Are you kidding me? Girls can’t WHAT? Girls can’t play golf? Not once did they mention any of the current female pro-golfers – not ONCE! Perhaps they are intimidated by the power putts of Michelle Wie, Karrie Webb, or Lorena Ochoa?
Now I don’t know a thing about golf other than I have to stop at a “golf cart crossing” when I leave my subdivision ever since the city built a golf course in my backyard last year. But I do know that a woman can golf just as well as any man. Golf should be played and observed with respect and love for the game and not treated like it is the next incarnation of Girls Gone Wild. I am still ticked off by that forum. I am tempted to find out where each of those men live and then plaster their cart with a bunch of Golfer Girl Stickers. That may not get the point across to them, but it’d sure be fun. Who wants in on the action?
6 comments
gretchen
Gary – how do you know you use the same website as the one I “mentioned” when I didn’t even post a name or a link to it? :-??
I am sure that not ALL guys are looking for a caddy that turns them on, but on that particular forum the only threads I saw were alluding to caddies in that manner. My post simply describes what I read when I visited that forum. I certainly did not say that all golfing sites are like that.
I do appreciate you taking the time to post and explain your situation. It sounds like any person would be blessed to have you as a golfing partner. :)
Gary
Great generalization all of you. First I hear how men are all pigs, then how women who want to go out and make some money by working as caddies are basically whores, and how the people who set up the website to allow the matching of golfers and caddies are pimps.
Did you ever consider that maybe, just maybe there are reasons why someone might want a caddy besides just for the “hotness” factor. I’ve actually used this website you mentioned–for a very simple reason–I’m handicapped in my left leg (which has ten screws holding it together), and while I can walk, and golf, I cannot bend down, nor can I run.
When I go golfing with my wife or son, they help me out with this. But since we work different schedules, it is convenient to ask someone else–more similar to a caregiver than a “whore” to help me out. I have a very lucrative job and can afford to pay for this service.
Also, I do not believe that everyone else who uses this service does so because they looking for a date, or because they consider women “objects”. I have friends who use the service merely because they are old and their wives have based away and they prefer some companionship on the course. They are hardly looking for a date–and if you go to the website itself you will see that they post quite prominantly on the site that “it is not to be used as a dating site” and that “if there is any suggestion of something other than golf–or if dating is suggested while using one of the caddies, the membership will be revoked”.
Caddies on that site are also asked to say how knowledgeable they are on golf–and I would guess that about 1/3 of the women on the site have listed themselves as good to excellent and capable of helping a man improve his game. While this doesn’t really apply in my case, I’m guessing that many men prefer to use these women as caddies because of the expertise they provide.
Look, I have no idea who is running that site, but I hate it when whoever it is gets bashed by some people who have no idea what they are talking about and whom I’m guessing have never even visited the site.
Kristen
What a great blog! Pardon me for being so tardy to the party and commenting on this post WAY too late, but I just found you in the sports category on blogher – which I just joined today.
The caddy thing has gotten worse. There was such a demand that now there’s an actual business in which women sell their services and call it caddying, regardless of their knowledge of golf or caddying. Whether or not there’s something more sinister going on there I can’t say for sure. Maybe on a case-by-case basis. Golfers can select their “caddy” by sorting through photos and profiles of the caddies in their area. They have different rates and I don’t know if they’re based on caddying experience, golf knowledge, hotness, willingness to “shut up and fetch me a beer from that bag you’re carrying.” But this isn’t some kind of free “myspace” deal. It’s a for profit online booking service, which means a cut of the “caddy fee” goes to the business owner/pimp.
I’m ashamed to say that this business advertises heavily on an online publication for which I write articles. Just as you didn’t mention the forum (most golf forums are filled with guys like you described, btw), I won’t mention the name of the business. I’m sure it’ll be easy enough to find but we don’t need to give them free publicity here.
Thanks for the great site. Girls can definitely golf. Just ask any of the men I trounced on my way to club championship in my first year playing the game. Keep up the great work!
gretchen
That was awesome! Thanks for sharing that story, Amy!
(*) Go Madi Go! (*)
AmyStephen
My daughter Madi: The golfer! My daughter, Madi, is a golfer and she’s pretty good at it. My husband works with both Madi and my son Sam and taught them to golf. I am prohibited from trying because it is that wrong. We live in a small town and there is only one golf team, and it is a team for boys.
A brief detour, then, back to our regularly scheduled story.
Most of you girls might not understand how good you have it. (I realize how very old that makes me sound. Gulp!) The Title IX of the Education Amendments of 1972 was passed to level the playing field for you. Up until 1972, schools at all levels K-16 could offer sports for men, only. Essentially, the law stopped that discrimination (finally!) and said that if you use public funds you have to offer equal choices. If you offer three male sports, you have to offer the same number of female sports. End of story.
You might be surprised to hear that many people, men and women, were aghast! Why, who would ever attend a sporting event for girls? Using my tax money? Sheer lunacy!
Back to our story: remember the one about my daughter Madi, the golfer, and how we have only one golf team at her school? OK, it’s really cool that, even though it is, indeed, a male golf team, she must be allowed to join since there is no matching girls team. Now, she that does not mean she was given special privileges. She was not. She had to T-off from the boys tees and she had to compete for one of five varsity or junior varsity spots based on her score. And, no one could prohibit her from trying.
Her freshman year she chickened out. She was too afraid to break into the boys club. By the time she was a sophomore, she decided not to hold herself back. That first year as a sophomore, she beat out half of the boys and earned a spot on the JV team. Every meet she attended, she was the only girl there. She came home from one big event and asked, “Mom, have you ever been stared at by 94 guys at the same time? Knowing that they are all talking about you? It can be rather intimidating!”ï† We both just laughed.
There were boys who were angry her first year because she took a spot. And, as they voiced their complaints, she was ready, we had prepared for this. She simply told them, “If you beat my score, you can have my spot. But, I have no intention of taking it easy on you just because you are a boy.”ï† Then, she off she walked, given the pony tail a slight spin. Girls, she held on to that spot all year long! She never argued with anyone, she just played her game.
This past year, as a junior, Madi made Varsity! She was fourth out of five varsity players. Her score and her attitude and her willingness and ability to look at the others as competitors instead of “boys”ï† strengthened with each meet. My daughter rocks! She inspires me.
Next year, as a senior, I am so touched because Madi led the way for a new sport for the girls that will be introduced at her high school her senior year!. This summer, the school board voted to provide a girls golf team in the fall season! They needed five interested girls to offer the program. There are over fifteen girls who signed up for the sport – all inspired by Madi because she didn’t focus on negativity or barriers, she just wanted to play and let herself try!
kel1
Whoa. Sorry to tell ya, but it seems like nearly EVERYTHING is treated by men as if it were “Girls Gone Wild.” 8-| Do men really think it’s funny to demean women?? Well, I have to say that I’ve heard enough women demean men. I mean, we tease, but to say that women should be caddies and dress in daisy dukes is just…twisted. :-O
Honestly, what gets me is…there will be women who would WANT that job…who ENJOY that they somehow profit from the exploitation of their bodies. And they unwittingly continue the cycle of perpetuating women as nothing more than sex objects.
Girls Gone Wild wouldn’t exist if not for the girls…who are dumb enough and attention-hungry enough to fall for anything.
Men, PLEASE…learn to think with your BRAINS, not…well, you know. )