Don’t Dream It’s Over

When I was a freshman in high school, I played on the girls basketball team. We had a ritual before every game, whether it was home or away, of playing music. One song in particular stands out. It was not an upbeat, high-energy tune that starts your adrenaline pumping and makes you want to mop up the floor with the competition, but it was a very simple song called “Don’t Dream It’s Over” by Crowded House. The chorus went something like this:

I think it was well-understood by all of my teammates that this song was not about domination on the court, but it was about sticking together as a team. It was about sharing one common goal and one dream. That dream was to win the state championship. In order to build that unity, we used music before every game to meditate on our team goal. Reconnecting with that vision for just a moment or two before each game while suiting up and tying our laces gave us tremendous momentum.Even though the players changed from year to year, that team won almost every game during my high school years. Even when we lost, we stayed focused. I even remember getting on the bus one night after a tough loss to the familiar sounds of “Don’t Dream It’s Over.” It was a reminder to all of us to learn from the experience and keep dreaming.

I heard “Don’t Dream It’s Over” start playing on the radio the other day and it started me thinking about “thinking”. Dreaming is basically thinking. If we are “dreaming” it, then we are “thinking” about it. How many times have we killed a dream because we got discouraged or because something unproductive came along and distracted us? It is very easy to do. This is why I encourage you to write your dreams and your goals down. Having them in writing allows you to reconnect with them at any time. Trying to remember your dreams can be tough sometimes. Your thought patterns may go sour and it can be hard to recall what you were so excited about in the first place. If you have your plans in writing then reconnecting is easy and all the positive things that seem to go on vacation when you are discouraged are all captured in written form and all you have to do is read them to reconnect and revitalize yourself.

Reality Check

If you start to lose momentum, pull out that paper or open that file on your computer screen and read through your dream. Sometimes you may need to make some changes to your dream. It is ok to recalibrate from time to time. In fact, you should plan to recalibrate your dream every so often. I do this about every 3 months. I call it a “reality check”, but basically I am just checking my dreams and goals against where I am currently and against all that may have changed in my world over the previous 90 days. I almost always have to make adjustments. Some are good and others are not so good. Sometimes I add to my lists and other times I take things off my list. I can’t make predictions, but I can stop to make modifications along the way.

When The World Comes In

I began playing basketball in the sixth grade, when I was one of two girls to make the boys team (there were no girls teams in sixth grade). One of my dreams was to play basketball all the way through high school and at the college level, but part way into my freshman year of high school my family was hit by a drunk driver and my back was broken. In the hospital, I was told I may never walk again and playing sports was definitely over. Talk about killing a dream. I had to seriously recalibrate. At that time in my life, I didn’t have any formal goals written down that I reviewed like I do now, but I did have a pretty clear idea of what I was after in my life.

They come, they come

After a lengthy operation to restore my crushed vertebrae and install metal plates to stabilize it, I spent a couple of weeks in physical therapy learning how to walk again. Fortunately I was not paralyzed and the final diagnosis was that I would recover in time, but I would have to limit my sports activities, possibly for the rest of my life. More recalibrating. I had to wear a plastic back brace for the next six months and I wasn’t allowed to go back to school for a while either. My teammates sent cards and some visited me at home, but my basketball career seemed pretty much over.

I don’t recall ever really being depressed about it. Maybe I was just oblivious to what the doctors predicted or perhaps it was my confident nature that kept me going but I intended to play ball again. It just wouldn’t be my freshman year. I knew it would take some time to get back into the groove. I just didn’t realize what kind of “groove” it would be. During my recovery period, I became fascinated with drums. I had always been involved in music, playing in the school band and taking piano lessons, but something clicked all of a sudden and I decided I wanted to learn how to play the drums. Since I was confined mostly to home, I started plying around with my dad’s drum machine. I would slow the beats down and try to figure out how to play them. By the time I was able to go back to school during the last month of my freshman year, I could pound out a basic “grooves” of my own on the drum kit.

By my sophomore year, I was no longer in the back brace and I was back to “normal life”. I joined the basketball team again and started playing. I wasn’t as strong as I used to be and I had to take it easy at first. I learned to become a very skilled 3-point shooter and most of my playing time was spent on the outskirts of the action waiting for that perfect shot. I understood that I had to be cautious with my injury and there were some very intense games where I spent most of my time on the bench. It was alright, though, because I had remodeled my dream to adjust to my circumstances. I was still getting to play and enjoy the game I loved.

To build a wall between us

So now I had two loves…basketball and drumming. I finished my Sophomore season feeling pretty good about my limited playing time. I received lots of compliments and pats on the back from people who were inspired by my courage to “get back in there” and many were amazed that I could even just get up and walk around after seeing my x-rays and the 11 inch scar down the center of my back. But, by the start of my Junior year, my dream had started to change.

Typically, I spent my summers outdoors shooting hoops or playing baseball or any other kind of sports. But this time, I had spent most of the summer before working on music. My dad had a small recording studio in our basement and I had spent almost every day down there creating music and writing songs. I recorded several things with my friends and my sister that will never, ever be published (emphasis on NEVER). I learned an awful lot that summer. More importantly, I learned that I now loved music more than sports. Uh oh, conflict.

By the start of basketball season during my Junior year, I was still interested in playing on the team, but my new passion for playing drums was slowly taking over. I considered all of the time I would have to spend at basketball practice and traveling to games and weighed that against how much time I would rather spend making music and playing drums. The drums won out. My dream suddenly morphed into something I hadn’t expected. It had nothing to do with being temporarily disabled by an injury, it was simply that a natural passion had emerged that I never really explored before. I often wonder if I would have ever picked up a pair of sticks had I not been momentarily sidelined by the accident. It has always amazed me at how something that appears to be so devastating can actually be the best thing that has ever happened to you.

Don’t Ever Let Them Win

I never once did “Dream It’s Over”. Had I given up, I never would have stepped foot back on the basketball court and made some critical shots that helped my team to win some important games. I may not have gone on to have a career in basketball like I originally planned, but I didn’t give up and in the end, I came out with something I hadn’t dreamed of and it turned out better than I could have planned for myself.

So for those of you feeling discouraged about an obstacle in your path, “Don’t Dream It’s Over”. Stop and consider revamping your plans. While you are looking over, under and around that road block, make sure you look far enough the the right and the left to be sure you aren’t missing an opportunity to morph your dream into something better. It may not be completely switching from one passion another like I did, but sometimes slight alterations can bring about positive changes to your dream that you never “dreamed” about before.
Note: In 1990, although I was no longer playing on the team, the Sullivan Lady Redskins did take home the Illinois Girls Basketball State Championship title.