Goal Setting: When to Trash a Goal

This is post #8 in the Goal Setting Series. Next: When You Fail

Occasionally we may find that a goal just isn’t turning out to be all that we hyped it up to be in the first place.  Not that it wasn’t a noble cause to begin with, but perhaps our circumstances have changed and the goal needs to either be altered or dropped altogether.

Did You Do Your Homework?

Ideally, when you select a goal, it is something that you’ve put a lot of thought into actually achieving.  You’ve taken the time to visualize what it would be like when you actually reach it and what else around you may change as a result of your accomplishment.  When you’ve done this type of exercise, it makes it that much harder to let go of any goal.   Trashing a short term goal is a lot easier than trashing a long-term goal.  When you have more invested in your accomplishment, it’s harder to let go.  Do your homework.

Get Rid of the Bugs

Sometimes, a little extermination can make a world a difference.  Ever had termites?  You don’t pick up and move to a new neighborhood just because a few bugs decided to lunch on your house.  You call an exterminator.  They kill the bugs and you carry on with your life.  The house may be slightly damaged, but you can usually recover.

I can’t believe they ate the WHOLE thing!

Now if the termites damage the foundation, you know you’re in trouble.  You may have to move or completely rebuild the structure, but the destruction doesn’t happen overnight.  Termites are small creatures and even in large numbers, it would take them quite some time to do enough damage to weaken the foundation of a large structure.  Usually when a house gets to the point of near-collapse, it’s not the termites that are the problem.  It’s typically neglect on the owner’s part for not routinely inspecting the home for early signs of infestation.

Goals are like houses and the varying circumstances in your life are like termites.  They creep in and eat away at your time, your motivation and your vision.  Just as you would schedule routine termite inspections for your home, you need to conduct regular inspections on your goals.  So what happens if you didn’t do the inspection and now there’s hardly anything left?

Call an Exterminator

Before you completely give up and call a moving company, put a stop to the bug buffet and call the local pest control company.  In terms of goal setting, this is where you phone a friend.  Call a buddy, a coach or someone who shares an interest in your goal and explain your situation.  Get their opinion, ask for advice and listen carefully to their feedback.  Make sure it’s someone you trust to give you an objective opinion.  Let your exterminator help you get rid of the bugs in your life.  Are you wasting time?  Over-committed? Understaffed? Misinformed? Depressed?  Talk it through.  The first step to salvaging your goals is to stop the present deterioration.  Getting an outside consultation is sometimes all it takes to regroup and come up with a plan of action.

Action?  I thought we were trashing these suckers?

If you thought this post was going to be about getting the green light to quit, you’ve probably realized by now that I’m not letting you off that easy.  ;)  Remember in the beginning of the series I cautioned about starting small and making sure your goals are attainable?  I was serious.  If you followed those suggestions, you probably won’t end up Googling “exterminator” out of sheer desperation.  Before I consider trashing any of my goals, I look for ways to either make up the deficit or modify the goal so that it is more manageable.  I can usually talk through these ideas with my husband or a good friend and come up with a game plan for getting back on track. You can guarantee that they will see things differently than you do and their perspective can be just what you need to get focused again.

Evolutionary Goals

If I may borrow a quote from Charles Darwin:

“It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.”

In order for your goal to survive the day-to-day challenges of life, it has to be flexible enough to respond to change.  So what if it takes you a month longer to complete a task than you anticipated?  You finished it!  You adapted! You made it!  And most importantly, you didn’t quit!  Just because you set target numbers and deadlines does not mean they are hard-coded into the pages of your life. We all know life isn’t a cookie sheet for us to stamp our dreams on.  We have to work with wet dough, missing ingredients and varying temperatures.  The end result is still fresh-baked cookies, but they may be slightly different than we anticipated.

In order to feel good about the outcome of your goal-setting, you need closure.  Closure is not subject to dates and numbers.  Closure only happens when the outcome you envisioned is achieved.  The deadline and the target measurement are just tools for evaluating your progress.  Satisfaction and the “peaceful, easy feeling” from the Eagles song can only come from closing the open loops.  When you commit to a goal, your mind immediately sees this as an incomplete area of your life.  Focus on the outcome and the details will fit into their own time line.  Be responsive to change and adapt.  Your mind will thank you for it and you’ll have cookies to reward yourself for a job well-done.

Please let it die!

If completing the goal by the stated deadline is near impossible in your eyes, you have two options.  Lessen the outcome of the goal (reduce the end result) or extend your deadline.  Don’t give up unless you are just beating a dead horse and your arms are tired.  If you have lost all motivation to finish or perhaps it is a business goal that no longer works with current trends, then feel released to drop it like a hot potato.  I have done this many times with long-term marketing goals that were brilliant in their day but tanked as time marched on and and needed to dropped completely.  If the goal is draining your energy, dragging you down or interfering with any of your other goals, then by all means kill it as fast as you can.

You will know it’s time to let go when closure no longer appeals to you and you really couldn’t care less if you finish it.  Just be certain that you are at peace with yourself for giving it up.  If you think the goal my resurface at some point to haunt you, then you are better off regrouping and working towards a modified version rather than live with a nagging sense of regret.  Trashing a goal that you’ve carefully crafted and worked toward should never be a snap decision.  Think long and hard before you throw that dough away. Perhaps it can be adapted to make sugar cookies instead of chocolate chip. ;)

This is post #8 in the Goal Setting Series. Next: When You Fail