I Can Pee Faster Than You Can

I was working in my home office today, while the kids are home on summer break. We have this great arrangement. They promise to stay out of my way during the mornings while I concentrate on writing and designing and then I promise to spend a few hours or so with them in the afternoon, usually in the pool.

Today, I was deep into writing an article when both of my girls came bursting through the back door and rushed into the bathroom which is connected to our home office. They are 6 and 9 years old and although I have stressed the issue of privacy with them before, they still don’t get it. With both doors to the bathroom wide open, I can hear every word of their conversation. They were apparently in a rush to get back to their activities outside, which amounted to “spying” on
the construction workers three houses away.

Upon entering the bathroom they were discussing who should go first. Then an argument erupted that went something like this:

“I can pee faster than you.”

“No I’m the faster pee-er. I want to go first.”

“No, I can pee way faster than you.”

“No, me first. I gotta pee more than you do.”

I finally hollered over to them “it’s not a contest,” but by that time whoever had to go more had won out and the other one decided to wait.

Now, we’ve had bathroom issues before, which is ridiculous since we have three working toilets in the house. My girls have claimed “their” bathroom and refuse to go anywhere else unless it is an absolute emergency. Their bathroom even has a sign that says “Girls Bathroom: No Boys Allowed.” We leave it up to amuse our house guests.

So I am wondering just what kind of a competitive world we are living in these days that my girls would argue over who could pee the fastest? I had never considered that as a bragging right before. Perhaps they were just looking for a reason to say the word “pee” as much as possible without a parent around to tell them “that’s enough bathroom humor for today” or something. Who knows?

But now I am wondering what kind of Google ads are going to show up here now that “pee” seems to be the most heavily used keyword on this page. That could be interesting.