Raising Strong Girls: A Future Father’s Perspective

Growing up as a little boy, I was very aware of gender roles. Even at this young age, I realized that I was told I could do more, exciting things that my female counterparts. I was meant to be sportier, better in the hard sciences, and all other rules that come with being a boy versus being a girl. Fortunately for me, I grew up to not hold on to these early lessons, and in fact have come to realize that gender is not an actual barrier at all, rather a barrier set up to tell certain individuals why they deserve to earn less, or why they don’t deserve a certain position at a company.

This has gotten me thinking a lot lately about how I want to raise my daughter. My wife and I have been talking children for a while now, and I hope that I will be lucky enough to have a little girl. My wife is a strong woman. She is smart and focused, and is on track to become a very successful lawyer. I know she got here because she was never told she had limits. She wasn’t told that girls don’t become lawyers. More importantly, she was taught she can succeed as a girl. What I mean by this is there was no pressure to be like a boy. She was raised to know she could be a girl, and complete tasks without having to take on characteristics or become something she wasn’t.

This has been a big lesson for me. I know the kind of father I want to be, and that is one that is supportive. I want all my children to be able to take on any task they desire, and let them know nothing limits them. However, with my daughter, I feel like that conversation is even more important. There are pressures on girls, and women, today that are told they can succeed like a man, but only if they have the qualities of a man. There are a ton of sociological studies that discuss this mindset, and it is one that causes harm.

Our society needs to stop putting pressure on girls by telling them how they have to act in order to be successful. Most of this comes down to having “masculine” qualities. While I believe that people of all genders deserve a fair shot, that doesn’t mean that “acting like a man” is the only way to do so. We have lost track of celebrating people for who they are, and we need to realize, and teach our children, that girls can succeed without losing those qualities that make them women. Simply put, women need to know they can succeed as women, not women forced to act like men.

This lessons have been important for me to learn, and I know that I’m not done. I have improvements I need to make in order to give my daughter the support she needs to feel she can become what she wants to be. I know that nothing limits girls, and those girls turn into very successful women. The important thing, however, is never letting them lose the fact that they are girls, and are able to conquer any task as girls.

Jordan Mendys is a media professional based out of North Carolina, and writes for Non Stop Vid. He lives with his wife, and they just celebrated their first year of marriage together.