Did you know that there are 2 words in the English language that guarantee your failure? In fact, when you use these words, your brain immediately shuts down any chance you had at succeeding and just gives up. All of the brain power that would have gone into making your dream happen goes up in smoke.
Don’t believe me? Test it out for yourself.
The Worst Thing To Say. Ever.
When someone asks you to do something for them that you’re not that excited about doing and you’re not really obligated to do… what is it you usually say in response to their request?
“I’ll try.”
And why is this the worst thing to say ever? Because if you had to utter those two words, you failed.
No one succeeds and says “I tried“.
When you succeed, you say “I did it!”
The magic behind the curtain
So what actually happens when we say those two words? It usually means we file that request in our mental trash bin and promptly forget about it. Later, when whatever-it-was doesn’t happen because we either forgot or didn’t give our best effort, we shrug it off and say “Well, I tried“. Sound familiar?
And because we didn’t succeed, we have negative feelings about it. Even if the task or goal wasn’t earth-shattering, it still weighs down on us as a failure. A few negative feelings here and there over time can really start to demotivate us.
When we say “I’ll try”, we are immediately setting ourselves up to fail. Why? Because those two words have a built-in excuse mechanism. These 2 words do not allow you to fully commit, so they short-circuit our brain and immediately set us up to blow it. And then you fail. And then you have negative feelings for not accomplishing something you kind of sort of said you might get around to doing.
Yoda said it best “Do or do not. There is no try.”
And it’s true. You either do something or you don’t. There is no inbetween. Ether you succeed or you fail. Now apply that to your dream or whatever challenge you are facing right now. Are you going to “try” to resolve it and then shrug and say well “I tried” or are you going to go for gold?
How to set yourself up for success
Now that we know what NOT to say, what can we do to ensure our success? The answer is quite simple, but once you get the hang of it, you will be unstoppable. This will take a little practice, but I am confident you can do it. I’ve been doing this myself for quite some time now and it really does work. Each time you find yourself saying “I’ll try”, simple stop and rephrase your statement with the words “I will”.
That’s it. Replace “I’ll try” with “I will”.
Each time you change the wording either out loud or in your head, your brain makes the most remarkable mental shift. Solutions that were not available to you before suddenly become obvious. Goals you set suddenly become easier to achieve. All because you programmed yourself for success.
It’s not magic. It’s not a bunch of woo woo. It’s really how your brian works. The words “I will ” are in the present tense. When you say “I will”, your brain associates that with doing something right now to bring closure to that commitment. It immediately gets your mental gears prepped to move forward in the most optimal way to make sure you will accomplish that task.
Your mental focus is the foundation for achieving anything in life. You have to make a decision to be successful. Craft your statements (verbal and mental) around what you can and will do and you can achieve anything.
The next time you are asked to complete something or you set up a goal, make it clear to yourself that you will do it. Fully commit to completing it and let that mental shift kickstart you towards achieving it.
If the item is something you don’t want to do or can’t fully commit to at this time, make that clear as well. When you make a decision to NOT do something, that also brings clarity and provides more mental RAM for the projects you are committed to accomplishing.
Saying no is like dropping dead weight. Try it right now by finding a project or an event you are not fully committed to and just make a decision to not do it. Doesn’t that feel better?
Beyond the obvious
Bonus: You can use this beyond problem solving and goal chasing. Use it in your everyday life to enhance relationships. Ever get an invitation and respond with “I’ll try to make it”. What did you just do? You set yourself up with an out because you didn’t want to commit. We’ve all been there.
And the person on the other end knows what “I’ll try” means. To that person handing out the invitations it means “You’re not important enough to warrant a valid answer. I’m keeping my options open in case something better comes up.” Whomever invited you now distrusts you, or at the very least doesn’t think you care or respect them enough to give a straightforward answer.
Is that how you want people to see you?
Next time you get an invitation or a request from someone, show them respect by taking the time to give a direct response. Pause and look at your calendar and make a decision right then and there. Or if you need to check with someone else before committing, don’t respond with “we’ll try to come” – tell the person you will get back to them and then resolve to respond later as to whether you will or you won’t.
In fact, your response should include the words “I will” in it. As in “I will let you know”. When you use the words “I will”, you brain will nag you about that commitment because you said you were going to do it and your brain can’t handle incompletion.
Be clear. Don’t leave them hanging. I guarantee your friends and family will appreciate that response much more than “I’ll try“.
Make it happen right now
In the comments below, tell me what you’re going to stop “trying” and start committing to. Is it a project? A relationship? A business? A dream? Make a statement proclaiming what you will accomplish and shift your brain into high gear. You will be amazed at what you can do!
