The It Factor, Luck and What that Means for You

Luck is a funny thing. It seems some people have it and some people don’t.  But guess what?  It’s not something we are born with and it doesn’t take magic fairy dust to acquire, but luck is a very real phenomenon.  And you can have it.  Right now. Today.

For those of you who follow my blog, you may think I’ve lost my mind because you’ve frequently heard me say “I don’t believe in luck.”  Well I don’t. But I do believe that some people are luckier than others.  Is that contradictory? Not in my book.  I believe there is a formula for being lucky and here is my theory…

My personality type (INTJ if you care to know) is a scientist, a mastermind – in other words, one who studies.  I study everything.  All the time.  If I don’t have a book in my hand, I’m Googling something on my phone or I’m observing my surroundings.  I like to study happy, successful people and see what makes them tick.  I look for patterns and personality traits.  I watch how they interact with other people.  And you know what?  There IS a pattern.  People who are considered lucky or have the “it” factor or whatever you want to call it, have a few things in common.  In fact, they have some very basic traits that make them successful or “lucky” as we would like to call it.

The good news is that these characteristics are easy to learn.  In fact you can start applying them today and watch your own “luck” factor skyrocket.  Here they are:

Be friendly.

No, for real.  I don’t mean the fake kind where you pretend to like something just to make conversation.  I mean be yourself and be genuinely interested in what the other person has to say.  If you can’t be real about the subject then you can’t possibly make a true connection to that person.  Only a “true” connection will make a lasting impression and win a real friend.

And here’s an interesting twist…if you can’t be real with someone, move on.  Don’t force it.  Time is precious.  Chances are if you find yourself not being real, the person you’re dealing with is probably not being authentic either.  You will intuitively sense this and put your guard up.  Bet you didn’t see that one coming.  ;)  Lucky people check themselves and make sure they’re being honest in the relationship.

Be Aware

Ok this is where the introverts like me cringe, but hang in there.  I promise it gets better!  I would much rather curl up on the couch with a book than go to a social event so if you’re with me in that respect, don’t worry.  I feel your discomfort.

Your willingness to branch out can be the difference between being lucky and unlucky.  We all know you can’t win a contest unless you enter.  Right now, I’m betting you that you won’t win the latest Girls Can’t WHAT? contests for a Hoodie and a Girls First Car Prize Pack.  Why? You haven’t entered them!  Go ahead and do that.  It will take you 2 minutes.  I’ll wait.  I’ll even set the links to open in a new window so you don’t lose your place while reading this.  Nice of me, isn’t it?  Now go do it!

Ok, that shameless plug little example was to show you this… I guarantee that folks who consider themselves “lucky” just clicked that link and entered the latest contests.  Doesn’t even matter if they were interested in the prize or not (more on that in a minute).  They did it because they saw an opportunity and they seized it.  They didn’t lock themselves into a mentality of “I never win” or “that doesn’t interest me”.  They took advantage of those two minutes to build a connection (more on that in a minute, too).  Lucky people look for big and small opportunities every day!

Oh and for the introverts, here’s a tip…  No one said “social” has to mean face-to-face conversation.  If you’re like me and you prefer to write, join a network on the internet like Facebook.  Post your questions or ideas in the brand-spanking-new Girl Talk forums or on our fan page.  Leave comments on blogs (like this one!) and read the feedback.  Strike up a genuine conversation through your writing or whatever your preferred form of communication may be.  I spend very little time on the phone or in meetings.  The majority of my connections (in fact the best ones) are made through my keyboard.

Be Caring

Ok, so why do lucky people enter contests that don’t interest them or involve themselves in social events they don’t care about?  Why bother?  Do they just like to waste time?  Nope.

Lucky people are not selfish.  They look for opportunities to give. Chances are good that when they spotted the contest, they immediately thought of someone else that would be interested in having that prize and that’s why they entered.  (If you followed my lead and entered when I asked you to in the above paragraph, please tell us why you did it in the comments below to prove my point.)  Lucky people knew that winning would provide them with an opportunity to truly connect and share with someone else.  Genius, isn’t it?

So what if they don’t win?  What a waste, right?  Not at all.  Lucky people don’t waste their time.  Truly lucky people not only entered the contest but they shared it with other people.  They used their experience as an opportunity to connect with even more people.  Lucky people have so many connections AND they like to share.  Telling someone else about a contest or an opportunity that might interest them is a great way for lucky people to stay connected.

An it’s all about connections.  Keep reading.

And NO, this is not a way to manipulate people into posting this contest all over the Internet and drive traffic to my site.  Not that I would be upset if that happened, but that’s not the point.

Make Connections

It’s all about who you know, right?  In my experience, this is very true.   It is about who I know and what influence those people have.

But it’s not about using that influence for my personal gain.

I want to be very clear on that point.  Making connections is not about using people.  If that’s the only reason you network then you fail.  And you fail miserably.

Making connections is about building real relationships with real people that you care about.  It’s about give and take.  If someone offers you some free publicity, reciprocate and do the same if you can.  If you can’t, then donate to their favorite charity or introduce them to someone else in your network that may be able to help them with a business venture.  Remember not to be selfish.  Hook people up! They will be grateful and remember you and in turn they will hook YOU up.

It’s a win-win for everyone. It really is. Here’s a personal example:

I’ve been hooking up with a few charities here and there and donating some Girls Can’t WHAT? items to them for gift bags and special events.  This costs me time and money.  To most people, that’s considered “marketing”.  For me, it goes beyond that.

Because I have made so many connections, opportunities to give products away cross my desk every single day.  Rather than just saying yes to every request, I take a moment to study them.  If I feel a genuine connection there – meaning the person asking for the donation is really out to make a difference in someone’s life through whatever event they are sponsoring – then I work with them to make just the right items available to them.  I customize it.  I show them that I care about their event and how I can help inspire the participants, rather than just sending a handful of cheap, random items to throw in a gift bag.

My efforts are always positively received and frequently those opportunities to give turn into additional connections and more opportunities to give as well as receive.  As I write this, I am in the midst of magazine interviews and offers to sell specific Girls Can’t WHAT? designs in gift shops.  All because I offered to make a genuine connection.

And you want to know the really amazing part?  Most of the time I can’t really afford to give stuff away.  But get this…  Every time I do it, I get something greater in return. It may not be money or publicity or the things a marketer would expect, but I gain fans, friends and honest connections with people.  And those people will introduce me to other people and so on.  My connections grow, and so does my business.  Call me lucky.

Take A Risk

So yeah, sometimes I give away more than I can afford to in a given month.  And it gets risky.  But lucky people have to take risks.

Oooh.  This one is a tough one.  Take a risk?  Are you kidding me?

Risk means we could… *gasp*… FAIL!

Yup.

Very real possibility.

So go for it anyway?  YES!  Lucky people take risks.  No they don’t jump without a parachute, but they do jump.  Maybe it’s easier to swallow if we say “take a chance” rather than “take a risk”. Risk implies danger. Chance means opportunity.

However, I like the term risk because it DOES imply danger.  But risk needs some measure of caution before proceeding. I learned this the hard way.

Earlier this year I paid out an unfortunately large sum of money to a publicity firm in order to increase exposure to my site.  Big mistake. It did not pan out as I hoped and the few “opportunities” that came from it turned out to be duds for the most part.  I was not a happy camper with all of this, but it was my own fault.  I took the risk.

But all is not lost!

Lucky people learn from their mistakes and turn these into opportunities.  I realized that the reason for failure for the most part was because I did not have luck on my side. Why not? I violated one of the “lucky” principles which is to make genuine connections.  Hmmm…problem identified….  Now how do I solve it?

My mega-money catastrophe had at least gotten my foot in the door to some major magazines and other networks, but I couldn’t afford to keep paying for their attention.  I didn’t know any of these people at the magazines, but guess what?  I had people in my network who did! I had real connections that I had built with real people who I had real relationships with so I put out some feelers and asked around to see if anyone could help me keep in touch with the magazine publishers who showed initial interest.  Sure enough, someone hooked me up.  I’m so lucky!  ;)

Be Consistent

But shouldn’t lucky people win ALL the time?  Why enter if they might not win?  That’s simple.  Lucky people don’t stop at just one or two contests or opportunities.  They are consistent in scouting their environments for open doors.  They don’t stop on the first try.  They keep persisting long after the unlucky folks have stopped knocking.

So guess what?  The “lucky” people end up winning something from somewhere quite frequently because they entered enough opportunities and persevered long enough that eventually it paid off.  It’s not that they were really all that “lucky”.  There really isn’t an “it factor” involved.  It’s simply a matter of being consistent and never giving up.  Opportunity is out there.  Lucky people are the ones who will work hard enough to find it.

One other secret is that lucky people only count their wins and their successes not their losses and failures.

Do you need proof? I actually have some hard evidence for you.  You may have noticed Girls Can’t WHAT? popping up in some magazines, tv newscasts and other web sites.  After taking the risk that “failed”, I used all of the above principles to bring awareness to this site.  I now have so many connections (even some in very prestigious places) that I recently had to get professional photos taken, setup a press kit and make some heavy duty changes to my workflow just to keep up.

Am I just lucky?  If you define luck as being persistent and never giving up, then yes.  I am very lucky!

And the “luck” just keeps pouring in.

And it’s not because I’m super special or my site is all that great (although I hope you think it is), but it’s because I’ve been genuinely meeting new people, building caring relationships and being aware of the opportunities that pop up in my environment on a daily basis.

And I do that all consistently while hooking others up in the process.

That’s what makes me lucky.

Are you lucky, too?