The “Right” Time of the Month To Race

I don’t usually read the newspaper, but I happened to be at a McDonald’s today for my nephew’s first birthday party and as I was getting my ketchup I happened to glance over at the newspaper which was open to the sports section. There was a photo of Danica Patrick in the side column and the title of the article caught my attention. It read “IRL driver disses Danica”.Now, if you don’t know who Danica Patrick is, I suggest you read up on her. She is an incredibly talented racecar driver and recently led the Indy 500 pack for a few laps. Danica has been making the headlines lately because she has been considering busting up the NASCAR boys club by becoming the first female to race on the NASCAR circuit.

So I sat down with my McMeal to read the article and discovered that apparently the boys don’t know how to handle this invasion of “their” space. Today’s paper quotes Ed Carpenter, who is currently trailing Danica by 4 slots in the IRL IndyCar Series, as saying “I think Danica’s pretty aggressive in our cars, I mean, you know especially if you catch her at the right time of the month, she might be trading plenty of paint out there.” I read that and I darn near choked on my fries!

So what does this mean? That women are even more aggressive when it’s THAT time of the month? Does she not have a fighting chance of winning a race unless she’s “extra aggressive” on race day? Does it increase women’s chances of winning because they might be hormonal? Let’s think about it for a moment. First, that is really crappy odds. I mean, your chances of winning would now fall into a 3-5 day window. What a bummer. Oh and think about race schedules. What if the women drivers aren’t on a regular cycle? That would really wreak havoc on race fans everywhere because race day could potentially have to be rescheduled to accomodate the ladies behind the wheel. And how will the girls have a fair chance against each other…won’t someone always have an advantage at certain times during the month? Are women going to be required to share their “schedule” during the time trials so the guys can be prepared for a little “extra hostility” on the track?

I guess girls can’t be NASCAR drivers afterall. What were we thinking wanting to race cars with the big boys? I mean, it’s just not practical. Strategy would be out the window and timing would be everything. If the only chance a girl’s got to win is if she races at the “right” time of the month, then the other 23 days or so of the month are just worthless. So why bother? It’s just too complicated and the guys just don’t need that kind of stress. Gosh, and it probably makes for some really awkward pit stops as well. Thanks for the enlightenment, Ed!

So now a girl can only be aggressive enough to win if it’s “that time of the month”. That explains so much. In reality it’s a stupid response from a sore loser who can’t handle the fact that a girl is AHEAD of him in the series. Does it get any more ridiculous than that? Seriously guys – you’ve got to find a better way to stroke your egos. As for Danica, I’m pretty confident she will do some serious ego bruising if she does join NASCAR. Her best advice is “Drive like you have something to prove every time.” Not just a few days out of the month.

So add this to my list of lame comments from guys. Ok, so I don’t have a list but I’m going to start one. I’m going to call it “He said WHAT?”. And, no, it’s not “my time” as I write this. I am just irritated that stuff like this even needs to be discussed. Danica can hold her own any day of the month!