You Won’t Find Those Here, Gentlemen!

I check my statistics for this site every now and then. With my statistics component I am able to click the search link and go directly to Google and see what search terms were used and what my page ranked using those terms. Very handy information for improving this site.

Today when I checked, I saw that someone had surfed in from a Google search. Since they landed on my home page, I got curious about what search terms were used. Usually, if a person lands on my home page, they were searching for “girls can’t what” specifically. Otherwise, they land on a specific page of content. So I clicked the search link. Up pops Google and the search terms listed in the form were…drum roll please…”female chassity products”! Huh?

I promise, this is a true story!

Are you kidding me? First of all, “chassity” is spelled “chastity.” I am totally anal about spelling. If something is ever misspelled on this site, you can chalk it up to me never having typing lessons because I guarantee it is a typo. There is no such word “chassity” in the English language. And I have dictionary.com to back me up. If, at this point, you have no idea what “female chastity products” are, please do not Google it. You won’t like what you see. If you really must know, dictionary.com can explain it in a simple one sentence definition and without photos. My definition goes something like this:

  • chastity products n. insanely torturous and incredibly unsanitary devices used by medieval grunts to keep their women under control while they were out pillaging, killing, raping and doing whatever else they pleased.

Secondly, how the heck did this person end up on MY site with those search terms? The strange thing is that when I traced this back to Google, my none of my pages even show up in this keyword search. Usually, the link drops me right back to the search page the person clicked from (I’m typically ranked on page #1 or #2 – woo hoo!) and I can spot my listing immediately. I looked through all 8 pages that came up for that search and my site was nowhere to be found. Perhaps it was Divine intervention because surely a person looking for “female chastity products” needs to be enlightened and my site would be a good starting place for said enlightenment. A smack upside the head might be in order as well. Apparently this person didn’t like what he saw because he only landed on my home page and then he disappeared. Freaky.

Men, hold the flames here. I can just feel the flood of hate male (oops – I meant M-A-I-L – stupid typos) coming in as I post. We all know these things happened in Medieval times. You guys are all grown up now and would never even consider using these products in today’s society. It’s just disturbing that people are still looking for them today. Sure, it could be someone doing research for a term paper, but even more disturbing is the fact that these items are STILL AVAILABLE and you can order them online. Quite frankly, they will probably show up in the Google ads on this page. Now THAT is scary! And to top it all off, now that I have posted a blog entry on the topic, I will now have a “female chastity products” page etched in stone on Google and every other search engine. Fabulous. Now perhaps we can enlighten a few more Medieval grunts who surf in. Let’s call it the “Girls Can’t WHAT? Great Awakening”.

Perhaps, I will code a special pop-up that reaches out and smacks all those folks who land on my site while using those search terms. Ooooh and then it will change their home page to Girls Can’t WHAT? And then add a few bookmarks to some other pages on this site. Oh and then I could code it so when they close the browser window another one will pop open with the Girls Can’t WHAT? Site showing. And that could be set to endlessly repeat until they scream “mercy” or at least turn from their archaic ways. This could be fun…oh sorry…my inner geek came out there for a sec. Gotta run. I really do have better things to do today!

10 comments

  • Sex is definitely not an issue of a “birth defect.” The issue is psychological, not physiological.

    And just for the record, I find this whole discussion completely inappropriate for this forum, but that’s just my opinion. It’s getting a little creepy for being a site that encourages “girls” and young women.

  • I am 49, And I know a lot of people do not believe in what i am doing but it is what is right for me. I believe in a higher power i also believe that same higher power made the resourses so one could change things that went wrong when born i didnt say the higher power made a mistake but man has caused things that make make birth defects and i believe that is what this is i was meant to be male and am just correcting what went wrong.

  • A

    Are you for real? Because I’m just not buying any of this. I don’t think that God/Mother Nature/Whomever-you-believe makes mistakes like that. I am a big believer in psychology and the study of the human mind. I don’t think that making surgical alterations to one’s body is any kind of “cure”.

    How old are you?

  • I know because i had medical test to prove it.
    alex

  • A

    Alex – how do you know your brain doesn’t match your body? Maybe you just don’t fit society’s definition of your gender. When I was younger, I was a complete tomboy. I didn’t want to BE a boy – I just found myself attracted to activities that normally girls don’t like – sports, fishing, drumming, etc. But I never wanted to change my gender because of those things. :-??:-??

  • well being transsexual is not a choice it is a way you are born i was born with a brain that does match my body i am just correcting a birth defect. try and imagine you feeling and thinking the way you do now but woke up everyday with a male body thats how i feel only in reverse. that is why someone would change there gender
    alex

  • A

    I don’t understand why anyone would want to change their gender. :-??

    Expressing my opinion is not a judgment. We all have opinions. If we didn’t, life would be boring. :)

    If you feel you are being judged, then that is internal on your part. People disagree with me all the time but I don’t feel that I am being judged. I recognize that they see things differently and I respect that. ;)

  • why is it distubing may i ask i do not judge you for your likes.
    alex

  • A

    Are you serious? Alex, that is quite disturbing. :o

  • yes i found this site while i was google searching for female chastity belts. I was looking for one for me I am a female to male transexuaql I am also an owned slave and must say for some of us it is not MIDEVIL thing but rather a device that i welcome and causes arousal but i respect your point of view.
    alex

cowgirl

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